I was being interviewed by a high school student for an article he was writing for the school newspaper. “Has a patient ever done anything that surprised you?”

I wondered, where do I begin? “Yes, that's happened many times.”

He asked, “How about someone who was a teenager? Any surprises there?”

I thought I'd better omit the more risqué stories. “Yes. A few years ago, I was examining a 17-year-old patient who was intoxicated. Because she had fallen and hit her head, I had to do a funduscopic exam. That is, I had to use an ophthalmoscope to look inside her eyes.”

“Is that the test where the doctor gets right in front of your face and shines that really bright light in your eyes?”

“That's it,” I responded.

“What did she do? Burp in your face?”

“No, she kissed me.”

“Was she cute?”

“Yes.”

“Was she a good kisser?” he asked eagerly.

“I don't know. It startled me, so I jumped back.”

“Oh, darn, I was hoping that you would have done some serious lip-locking with her.”

“I don't think her Mom would have appreciated that very much.”

“Her mother was in the room?”

“Yes.”

“What did her Mom say to her?”

“She said, ‘Amanda, I don't think the doctor wants you to kiss him. I think you should apologize, young lady.'”

“Did she apologize?”

“No. She said, ‘Mom, I just wanted to thank him for saving my life!'”

“Did you save her life?”

“No, she didn't need saving. She was fine.”

“So what did you do then?”

“I looked into her other eye, and she kissed me again.”

“Hey, I just thought of a catchy title for the story I'm writing.”

“What's that?” I asked.

“You said this was a funduscopic exam, correct?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I'm going to title it, ‘A fun-duscopic exam in the ER.'”

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