After I finished examining the genitalia of a 25-year-old man, he said, “Are you going to check my sister, too?”

I asked, “Why would I need to do that?”

“This stuff can spread, can't it?”

“Only through sexual contact,” I answered.

“You'd better check her then. We've been having sex.”

Indeed they were. Roger and Debbie were libidinous siblings who, from their unabashed confessions, simply preferred each other as sexual partners. They told me they had done their share of sexual exploration with other people, but neither found a partner who could give them more sexual satisfaction than what they could get at home. Consequently, why waste time with dating? It's like a farmer driving 40 miles to eat a greasy hamburger at a diner when he could have stayed at home and had a fresh, juicy steak. Incidentally, that analogy was furnished to me by Roger, who had apparently spent some time pondering this matter.

After Roger and Debbie departed for their love nest, the nurse asked, “Do you think it is really true what Ken and Barbie are saying about how it's so much better with each other?”

She did not need to explain herself. I knew she was referring to them as Ken and Barbie because of their striking good looks. “I'm certainly not going to condone incest, but there is an element of truth in what he said.”

“What's that?” she asked.

“That there is an enormous variation in the sexual pleasure that different people can give to their partners,” I said.

“Oh, sure, there is some variation, but isn't it all pretty much the same?”

I hesitated before answering, but then I thought, “Ah, heck, we're all medical personnel, aren't we?” I answered, “That's what I used to think, too.”

“Well, what changed your mind?”

“The second I entered a new girlfriend. Even though I was wearing a condom, it was about ten times as pleasurable as other women even without a condom. Each stroke with her felt better than orgasm with the others.”

She looked spellbound. “Are you serious? That couldn't possibly be true, could it?”

“Let me put it this way: I was more surprised than I would have been by meeting a man from Mars. Until that first night with her, I had no idea that sex could be so pleasurable—especially with a condom on.”

“Maybe it was the condom. Did you think of that?”

“It wasn't the condom. When I took it off, it was considerably better.”

“So why didn't you marry her?”

“If sex were the only reason to get married, I'm sure I would have married her.”

“What was the problem, then? Was she dumb? Was she a bitch?”

“She was a nurse, so she wasn't dumb. And she was sweet and affectionate, too.”

“Are you crazy, Pezzi? So why didn't you get hitched?”

“She had a habit that really bothered me.”

“What was that?”

“She was almost always either tired, asleep, or falling asleep. We went on a trip one time. As I was marveling at the beautiful scenery, she was snoring away—at 11 in the morning.”

“Maybe she didn't get enough sleep the prior night?” she suggested.

“How can 10 hours of sleep not be enough? The whole point of having a relationship with someone is to interact with that person. However, half the time I spoke to her, she was asleep.”

“Perhaps she had a medical problem.”

“I considered that. I suggested that she see someone about it, but she adamantly denied there was anything wrong with her. It wasn't so much that she had this sleep problem, but that she refused to do anything about it.”

“But if the sex was as good as you said it was, couldn't you overlook her faults?”

“I wish I could, but no.”