“Doc, you've got to help me.”

“That's what I'm here for,” I said. “What can I do for you?”

“I met this really nice woman at the supermarket, and we've got a date tonight.”

“Sounds great. What's the problem?”

“I need a little help.”

Somehow, I doubted that this 56-year-old man had come to the ER for the sort of advice one might give a naive young virgin on his wedding night. It seems those days are gone, and even young boys—perhaps having been coached by someone like Teacher of the Year Mary Kay LeTourneau—are now proficient in the mechanics of sex. “What sort of help?” I asked.

“Getting it up,” he responded.

“Have you seen a urologist or your own physician?” I inquired. Men bothered by impotence are typically not treated in the ER, but are instead referred to a urologist or their family doctor.

“I tried to get an appointment with Dr. Smith, but he's booked until June. And my family doctor is at some sort of conference in California.”

Hmm . . . it figures, I thought. “Well, what makes you think you're going to have sex tonight?” I was looking for an easy way out.

“After our first two dates, I'm almost positive that tonight is the night,” he excitedly said.

Hmm . . . that also figures, I thought. Statistically speaking, a couple begins having sex after their third date, on average.

Being an ER doctor, I could have simply told him that this was no emergency, and said, “Sorry, can't help you!” But this fellow had cancer, and his doctor had given him no more than six months to live. In such a situation, every day is precious, and I guess every night would be, too. So I agreed to help him.

This event took place before the days of Viagra^®, so my armamentarium was limited to Yohimex^® (yohimbine). In my opinion, Yohimex^® is a drug that never received due credit. It has been around for years, but its utility seems to have been underrated by everyone except male porno actors, who are reportedly great fans of the stuff. One of the misconceptions about Yohimex^® that may have limited its popularity is that it must be taken every day for it to work. While that may be true to achieve an optimal effect, rather impressive results can occur after a couple of tablets. So I gave him a prescription for it.

He called me later on that week. It worked. He was happy, he said, and so was his girlfriend.

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