Car lover
Most ER doctors have seen at least one patient who cut his penis while exploring the sensory marvels of a vacuum cleaner. However, the diameter of a vacuum cleaner hose is typically only 1¼ inches, which just isn't large enough for most men. One of my patients solved this problem by using a shop vac, and another solved it by using a technique that was more creative but far more hazardous. Let's meet this fellow.
As I walked into Kurt's room, I could not help noticing that he looked sheepish. I introduced myself, and asked how I could be of assistance.
Kurt: Uh, well . . . well, I cut myself while I was working on my car.
Dr. Pezzi: OK. What did you cut?
Kurt: Ummm . . . do I have to tell you?
Dr. Pezzi: I'm bound to find out sooner or later.
Kurt: Well, I cut my penis.
Dr. Pezzi: (Noticing his heavy overalls) How did you do that?
Kurt: I, uh . . . well, I . . . I stuck my penis in the carburetor.
Dr. Pezzi: You put your penis in the carburetor?
Kurt: Yeah, while the engine was running.
Dr. Pezzi: (Thinking what a lonely guy he must be) Why did you do that?
Kurt: Well, I was horny.
Dr. Pezzi: (I thought, no kidding!) Weren't you concerned?
Kurt: No. The sperm would just burn up in the engine. It wouldn't hurt the motor.
Dr. Pezzi: (Wondering how much I could make by submitting this story to The National Enquirer, or some other noted repository of human normality.) No, when I asked if you were concerned, I was referring to the potential danger to you, not to your engine.
Kurt: Heck, no. My cousin has been doing it for years, and he's never been hurt.
Dr. Pezzi: (I mused, doesn't anyone in his family like women?) Was this the first time you tried it?
Kurt: No, I'd done it before with my old GMC pickup, but my cousin told me that my Ford would have more suction.
Dr. Pezzi: (Realizing what a disappointment that must be to Mr. Goodwrench) You don't intend to do this again, do you?
Kurt: Not with that Ford.
Dr. Pezzi: (Ah, monogamy!) But with the GMC?
Kurt: I don't know. Maybe.
Dr. Pezzi: (Deciding that I had to formally warn him, so as to limit my liability for any subsequent injuries to his penis if he repeated this stunt.) From a medical standpoint, what you've been doing is extremely dangerous. Aside from the risk of injury to your penis, you could be injured in many other ways, or even killed.
Kurt: Yeah, I know that, but it feels so good.
Dr. Pezzi: It does? That's difficult to believe.
Kurt: Yes, it does. Don't knock it until you've tried it.
I wondered how Kurt could copulate with a carburetor without risking injury to other parts of his body. He explained that he made the procedure safe, even comfortable, by placing a sheet of plywood, complete with cushion and the requisite “strategically placed” hole, over the engine compartment. Ingenious.
Meanwhile, back on planet Earth . . . After finishing with Kurt, I walked over to the nursing station. Marci, the clerk, told me that one of the local television stations had called, wondering if we had any interesting cases they could do a story on. I doubted that this would fit in well on the six o'clock news, and I doubted that Kurt would be eager to publicize his penile proclivities. “No, Marci, just the usual stuff. Nothing newsworthy.”
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Medical School Myths: Only surgery can enlarge the penis in adult men.
Like other doctors, in medical school I was taught that penis size is fixed at the end of puberty. I previously believed that, too, and the evidence seemed overwhelming. I then serendipitously discovered a way to trigger what amounts to a "second puberty" of penile growth. The only difference between this "second puberty" and real puberty in terms of penile growth is that the penile growth was much more dramatic the second time. Within a few weeks, my penis size went from embarrassingly small (at least to me) to bigger than some porno stars. I once believed that such a transformation was impossible, but I was wrong, and so were the professors who taught me that myth. Clearly, penile size is not necessarily fixed at the end of puberty if you provide the body with the proper stimulus to rekindle penile growth.
After realizing that my medical school professors were wrong about this topic, I naturally questioned if there are other ways to enlarge the penis. The answer is yes, and I present all of them in Advanced Enlargement 
. By the way, in that book I do not discuss enlargement techniques that "everyone knows about," such as jelqing. I consider that to be a garbage technique because I've heard from too many men who said that it either did nothing for them, or it damaged their penis.
While the primary focus of Advanced Enlargement is on penile enlargement techniques that go beyond what is presented in The Science of Sex, the information in it is also useful for enhancing libido, sexual pleasure, and performance.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.
Creative Commons Copyright 2006 by Kevin Pezzi, MD • Usage Guidelines